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Question:
There seem to be dozens of different
kinds of meditation available these days. Is there a single
common thread that unites them all?
Answer:
Though the content may differ, most
forms of meditation involve turning your attention inward,
away from your usual preoccupations and activities, and
focusing on a particular object, such as the breath, a mantra,
a visualization, or a sound. In the process, you make the
simple but significant shift from thinking and doing to just
being. With repeated practice, your mind begins to settle
down, your breathing slows, and you settle into a relaxed,
peaceful, harmonious state. The thread that's common to all
forms of meditation is the cultivation of awareness.
Question:
How can I tell the difference between
one form of meditation and another? And how can I know which
one would work best for me?
Answer:
Again, the primary difference lies in
the content. If you have a particular spiritual or religious
orientation, you may want to choose a method that accords with
your values and beliefs. Otherwise, feel free to
experiment with different approaches, practicing each for at
least a few weeks to get the feel and the flavor before trying
another. Trust your intuition or gut knowing on this one.
Some forms of meditation are designed to
induce a particular state of mind or body. For example,
healing meditations may help detoxify the body and stimulate
the immune system, whereas meditations for opening the heart
may guide you in extending love and compassion to others.
Before you sign on for a course or a workshop or begin
practicing a meditation, be sure you understand its intent.
It's best to develop a regular foundation practice like
following the breath, repeating a mantra, or focusing on a
sound or other sensory object, to which you can add
specialized meditations as you feel inclined.
Question:
I understand that meditation builds
concentration and might help me increase my focus at work. Can
you explain how it might do that?
Answer:
When you meditate, you train your mind
to stay focused on a particular object--and when it wanders
off, you gently bring it back. With repeated practice, your
mind develops the power or capacity to stay focused for
extended periods of time. Just as when you lift weights
regularly, your muscles get stronger and stronger, so when you
meditate regularly, your mental muscles get stronger, too.
Question:
I'm drawn to meditation because I just
can't get a grip on my agitated mind. I'm either agonizing
over what happened yesterday or worrying about what might
happen tomorrow. How can meditation help me work with my mind?
Answer:
Here again, the practice of bringing
your mind back again and again--to your breath, to your body,
to a mantra or sound--can have a powerful impact on the rest
of your life. Develop this mental muscle, and when your mind
starts worrying or obsessing, you can gently lead it away from
its painful or frightening preoccupations and back to the
present moment. As a result, instead of spinning out of
balance when difficulties arise, you stay centered, grounded,
and balanced.
Question:
Is meditation just something you do on a
cushion or chair every now and then, or can you extend your
meditation into other areas of your life, like driving or
working or taking care of the kids?
Answer:
Well, the cushion or chair part is
extremely important, and you're better off doing it daily,
rather than every now and then. Pretty soon you'll start
noticing that you're more relaxed, centered, and peaceful at
other times of the day as well.
But you can also consciously extend your
meditation to other activities by being mindful of what you're
doing, rather than spacing out or daydreaming.
You can drive your car or talk on the
phone or work at your computer with the same careful attention
you bring to your meditation. You'll find that you enjoy your
life so much more when you actually show up and pay attention!
Question:
I'm afraid that meditation will turn me
into a zombie or a space cadet. I need to feel a certain level
of anxiety or tension in order to function. How can I be sure
that I won't lose my drive or my libido?
Answer:
Instead of turning you into a zombie or
space cadet, meditation will do just the opposite--it will
bring you down out of the clouds and into the present moment,
where your life is actually taking place. (Remember the John
Lennon line, "Life is what's happening while you're busy
making other plans"?)
Though your level of anxiety and tension
may drop (hallelujah!), you won't sacrifice your drive or
libido. Quite the contrary: People who meditate regularly
report that they get their work done more effectively and
enjoy their sex life far more.
Question:
I'm a real body-oriented person, and
meditation seems too cerebral for me. Can you meditate with
your body as well as your mind?
Answer:
Though you're using the mental muscle
known as attention, you're actually bringing the body, breath,
and mind into harmony when you meditate. Yes, certain
meditations are more body-oriented--for example, counting or
following your breath, tracking your sensations, or focusing
on a particular part of the body. For body-oriented
meditations you can do, check out Meditation For Dummies.
Question:
What about meditation and sex? I've
heard that certain meditation techniques can actually make sex
more pleasurable and satisfying.
Answer:
Ah yes, sex. Well, the best way to
improve your sex life is to be present for what's happening as
much as you can, and meditation teaches you how. When you
drift off or fantasize while making love, you actually limit
your enjoyment because you're not allowing yourself to
experience every little sensation and nuance. You can also use
meditative techniques to open the flow of love between you and
your partner or even to transform sex into a spiritual
experience. Men who meditate report that they can last longer,
and women report that they orgasm more frequently. Need I say
more?
Question:
These days everyone seems to be rushing
from one appointment or activity to the next. How can I find
the time in my busy life to sit quietly for ten or fifteen
minutes?
Answer:
How can you afford not to? Although
external circumstances may make constant demands on your time
and attention, stress is actually an internal experience
caused by how you interpret events. Through regular
meditation, you can learn to slow your mind down and create an
inner spaciousness so you don't feel so pressured in your mind
and heart, where it really counts.
As for finding the time, most people can
carve out a brief oasis in the morning or evening; Meditation
For Dummies explains how. Once you begin enjoying your
meditation, you'll feel motivated to do it regularly and
perhaps even extend the length of time from ten or fifteen
minutes to twenty or thirty.
Question:
I couldn't possibly cross my legs and
sit comfortably on the floor. Does that mean I can't meditate?
Answer:
Definitely not. You can meditate while
kneeling or sitting in a chair or even lying down or walking.
But be sure to keep your back relatively straight (also known
as extended), rather then slouched. Check out my book for
extensive tips on finding the best meditation posture for you.
Question:
I've tried to meditate, but I just end
up falling asleep or spacing out. I must be doing something
wrong. What can I do to remedy the situation?
Answer:
It's actually quite common to fall
asleep or space out. If you're physically tired, perhaps you
need to get more sleep or take a nap. Otherwise, you can make
an effort to increase your mental focus, open your eyes rather
than close them, or even get up and walk around or splash some
cold water on your face before resuming your meditation.
Question:
What can I do about the restlessness or
discomfort I feel when I meditate?
Answer:
Another common "obstacle" in
meditation, restlessness can take many forms. If your mind is
extremely agitated, you might want to increase your focus, as
I mentioned earlier. Or do some deep body relaxation before
your meditate (or in place of your meditation) to help calm
you down. If you're physically uncomfortable, try shifting
your position, though it's best to stay as still as you can
while you meditate. When your concentration gets stronger, you
can just observe your restlessness without allowing it to
disturb your meditation.
Question:
How can I tell if I'm meditating the
right way? How do I know if my meditation is working?
Answer:
The great thing about meditation is that
it doesn't "work." Instead, it provides an
unprecedented opportunity to set aside the attitude of work
and just be, without any expectations or agendas. Wheww, what
a relief! If you find yourself wondering whether you're doing
it right, just notice those thoughts and gently return to the
object of your meditation, such as your breath or a mantra.
The operative word here is "gently." Of course, you
may want to make sure you've got your technique straight
before you begin, and this web site is a great resource to
consult for a variety of different techniques.
Question:
I generally associate meditation with
Buddhists or Hindus in their loin cloths or robes. What about
those of us who consider ourselves Christian or Jewish or
Muslim? Do we have to give up our religion in order to
meditate?
Answer:
Absolutely not. In fact, you can use
meditation to deepen your understanding and experience of any
religious tradition. If the great religions are rivers, then
meditation is a current that runs through them all. In
particular, Christianity and Judaism have recently
rediscovered their own meditative practices in response to the
influx of Eastern teachers and teachings, and they have also
incorporated techniques drawn from Buddhism, Hinduism, Sufism,
and yoga.
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